Inside the head of a farmboy
by xxkizixx
Summary: Remember when Lois gave Clark that diary for his birthday? Well what if Lois is trapped in the barn during a storm and happens to stumble across it? What kind of secrets could be revealed? Clois, possible hints of Clana. Set during the ninth season. R&R!
1. Trapped

**So I had this stroke of inspiration when I read this story: Blindsided: A One Shot Fic by Sunrei (who, by the way, has written some amazing fics if you're interested) and I decided to give it a go and see if it worked. Please review honestly so that I can decide whether it's worth continuing, which I will do after I post for my other fic Friends First. Okay, now to get on with it.**

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Sirens wailed and screeched as the whole of Smallville was thrown into panic. Fires blared, roads were blocked and the streets were crammed with citizens heading for underground cover. As was the usual case during natural disasters, everyone lost any common sense they once had and let the primitive beasts, that were supposed to have disappeared after millions of years of evolving, take over their minds and bodies. The only rule anyone abided by was this: survival of the fittest. And oh boy was it a stupid rule. People pushed the elderly and the infant aside, only caring for their own selfish survival. Except for a small minority of the town, that chose to help those who were struggling. The occasional adult that found a screaming child or grabbed a bewildered grandparent and took them to safety. It was obvious to say, that Clark Kent was one of those people.

He carried six children, all clinging to various points of his body: his arms, his shoulders, his back, and returned them one-by-one to bawling mothers or fretting fathers who thanked him gratefully before taking them to find shelter of their own. Clark felt proud to finally be doing something to help people after all of these years of hiding in the dark, and while he was only using is super-strength, super-hearing and occasionally his super-speed, it gave him a warm tingly feeling inside, as if he had finally found his calling.

A huge tremor of thunder momentarily brought silence and stillness to the crowd, before everyone's adrenalin kicked in immediately instituting thousands of 'flight' responses. At least once a decade, Kansas was hit by a Wizard of Oz style storm, it always seemed to pass through Smallville but usually just the edge of it, so fleeing to the other end of town was always a possibility. This time, however, the tide had taken an unexpected turn, the storm chose it's course directly through the middle of town, which of course meant that the entire population of Smallville had chosen to panic.

Clark sighed and ran off towards the cries of a little boy, who was cornered up against the empty Talon building. Today was going to be a long day.

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She ran with all of her might, having abandoned her car miles ago after realizing that the sideways-parked truck had no driver. It was lucky that she ran frequently, since anyone of a lower fitness level or determination would have given up. But she ran with a purpose, a purpose that kept her going, because that was always the main motivation with people like Lois Lane.

Finally, she arrived at her destination: The Kent Farm. At which point she hoped to find out if they needed any help in packing, so that they could go over to her place until the storm passed through. Metropolis was safer than Smallville, and the general had agreed to sending over some military helicopters to help transport the Kents over the traffic. The storm looked like it was gunna be a big one though, and luckily it was still an hour away from the other side of town, so they had plenty of time before it got here.

"Clark? Mrs Kent?" Lois went into the house, perspiration making her shimmer in the sudden light after having come out of the shadow of the looming clouds above. "Cla-ark? Mrs Ke-ent?" She continued to call out their names, going into every room of the house. Well, almost every room. She considered it courtesy to avoid Mrs Kent's room altogether, it just didn't feel right. Going in there. She had grown up learning that parents' rooms were off limits, so, even after all of these years away from her parents, she couldn't break what had been hammered into her as a child.

Feeling satisfied in the house's vacancy, Lois continued to search the rest of the farm, mainly the storm cellar and finally the one place she could count on Clark being if he was at the farm at all: the barn.

She found it, to say the least, odd that someone could spend such a large amount of time in the same place. Not that Lois could understand, she moved around so much when she was younger, even in Smallville she'd lived in more places than most. She couldn't stay in one place for too long, it wasn't natural to her. But as she stepped into the familiar wooden structure of the barn, she could see its appeal. It had a warm feel to it, it was homey, friendly and so completely Clark.

Lois didn't know why, but something drew her up those stairs and into Clark's 'fortress'. The space in which she'd referred to as his 'grown man's clubhouse' was definitely just that at first glance. But to a trained eye, you could see the space was so much more. It was like an untarnished store room of memories that had been built as much from wood as it had from Clark himself. He loved the barn and, though Lois didn't know everything, she could tell that it meant more to him than any penthouse condo in Metropolis would.

She walked around the room, her fingers tracing the seemingly random items located around it. Upon reaching the desk, she stopped, taking time to look at the photos on the desk: Clark with his parents, smiling and happy; Clark, Jimmy and Chloe, both beaming up at the camera; Clark and Lana, completely and utterly happy. All proof of how much life has changed.

The last picture made Lois stop dead. It showed Clark's birthday party the previous month. On the far left there was Oliver, who grinned sheepishly as he laughed at the scene before him. Mrs Kent stood between Oliver and Clark, her son's arm draped across her shoulders, facing Oliver and smiling. Clark stood in next to Lois, him beaming at her while she was in the middle of a laughing fit, hanging onto him to stop herself from falling over. Chloe was next to them, facing Jimmy, who was a little red in the face after having raced into frame after setting up his camera. Lois couldn't even remember what they were all laughing about, but what stroke her so much was how happy everyone looked.

Her eyes moved from the photographs to a leather book. Its familiar red leather cover took Lois by surprise and her fingers subconsciously went to the 'C.K.' etched in on the cover. "No way." She flipped through the pages, noticing the familiar handwriting varying in neatness across the pages. It was the diary she had gotten Clark for the birthday after his dad had died! Lois couldn't believe that he'd even opened the thing, let alone used it!

A loud crash made Lois snap into reality. She'd completely forgotten about the storm! Grabbing the diary and the photo of everyone, she raced down the steps and wrenched open the barn door. Only for it to be sucked shut again by the powerful storm raging outside. Looking for the only cover she could find, she hurtled behind the nearest pile of hay bales, moving them around to form a kind of barrier all around her, boxing her in. Lois desperately tried to regulate her breathing, subconsciously clutching the photograph to her chest. It was all in vain though, because as Lois rocked back and forth calming herself, the core of the storm hit the barn head on, making it collapse in on itself.

Lois coughed as her box of hay and debris filled with dust. She pushed against the 'roof' but it seemed as if the entire upper-story had fallen on her DIY shelter. Reaching into her pocket, she took out her keys which sported a small torch, that was powered by turning a handle on its side. She turned it on and quickly found the picture and diary in a moderately good condition.

"Well, while I'm here, I might as well do some light reading..."


	2. Birthday Boy

Lois sat upright so that her knees were brought off of the floor. She rested the book against her legs and turned to the first entry. She knew that Clark would probably be mad at her for even finding the thing. But she had to let her curiosity get the better of her, after all of the mystery that surrounded Clark Kent, who wouldn't? Adjusting her light source, she began to read...

**_"May 4th 2006  
_****_  
_****_"Okay, it's safe to say that I feel a little stupid, talking to a book. But after _****_Lois gave it to me for a birthday present, it seems a bit of a waste to just _****_not use it, right?_**

**_"She was right in what she said. I do keep to myself a lot, so I suppose this _****_is a good thing. And Lois, not that I'd ever tell her this, tends to know what _****_she's talking about most of the time._****"** Lois couldn't help but smile at that. **_"She's not as bad as I thought she would be, even if she is bossy, talkative _****_and rude, she's also been there for me in a weird kind of way. We've been _****_through a lot and whether she's curing my amnesia or pole dancing for a _****_story we somehow end up working together. It's weird that we can go from _****_practically hating each other to being friends in so little time. I've only _****_known her... nearly two years! It never seemed that long until I looked at _****_the date. We've come a long way since she found me in that field. I can't _****_believe that she's stayed here that long. Even more unbelievably is the way _****_she hasn't even started to hassle me about the secrets I keep, it came _****_between me and Lana in less than a year. I suppose she hasn't inherited as _****_many of the journalist genes as Chloe has. She's gotten really close to _****_Mom, which is good. After everything that's happened with Dad, with Milton _****_Fine getting involved, she needs someone she can count on. Lois is a huge _****_step up from Lionel Luthor. Mom needs someone who will be around more _****_often, Jor-El isn't letting up about my future so I can't say how long I have _****_left before I have to leave. I can trust Lois to look after my Mom, even if it _****_isn't her job to pick up the pieces, though I hope she doesn't "_**

Already, Lois was confused. Milton Fine? Jor-El? Were these code words for people she knew? Or was she finally catching a glimpse at the real Clark Kent, the one that was hidden on a daily basis? It was interesting to see inside the guy's mind, considering the amount she knew about him left questions that she chose not to bother him with. If Clark was comfortable to tell her something, she'd take it to the grave, but, until that day, she was perfectly happy living her life as it was now. It's not like her life depended on knowing the secrets that Clark carried around with him. Until now, when she was trapped in what would probably be her place of death and was prying into the guy's private life. Not exactly the best thing to do, but she had limited options when pass times were concerned.

"Crap." Lois cursed as her flashlight lost power, and she proceeded to wind it up. Once again establishing light, she placed the source on the ground and took a look around at her surroundings. The haybales served as kind of straw walls and managed to create a box long enough for her to lie down in comfortably and wide enough for her to stick her elbows out at right angles to her body. Lois stood in heels at 5'10" and she could touch the makeshift ceiling with her toes while lying flat out on her back with no trouble. Luckily enough, there seemed to be oxygen getting in from somewhere, so air wasn't a problem. The only issue was the length of time she could manage without food or water, or caffeine for that matter. She hadn't eaten since breakfast, which she had grabbed a bowl of cereal at about seven that morning. Liquid was going to be the main issue, considering she had ran pretty quickly to the Kent's in hope of helping them, hopefully it was only a matter of time before they returned home and found her.

In the mean time, Lois decided that another peak into the delves of Clark's thoughts would help keep her mind off of the unfamiliar feeling of claustraphobia which was creeping over her. She had never considered herself to be afraid of something specific, but now in the dim light, she felt uneasy at the thought of wasting away in a dusty box. The next date seemed familiar to her.

_**"May 11th 2006**_"

"Dark Thursday?"


	3. Dark Thursday

**A/N Sorry for the slow update everyone, I saw how many people have added this story to their favourites already and I feel kinda bad with my terribly slow writing. I've had a million laptop problems which has affected everything I've been doing on the internet, the slow servers barely kept me up-to-date with e-mails, let alone this, so I'm now posting. Plus, I've found it really hard to channel my inner Clark, and I've had to re-watch episodes around the end of the fifth season/beginning of the sixth season (not that I'm complaining ^_^) to make sure that I don't prematurely mention anything on Clark's behalf. Anyway, enjoy!

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_Previously..._

_In the mean time, Lois decided that another peak into the delves of Clark's thoughts would help keep her mind off of the unfamiliar feeling of claustrophobia which was creeping over her. She had never considered herself to be afraid of something specific, but now in the dim light, she felt uneasy at the thought of wasting away in a dusty box. The next date seemed familiar to her._

_**"May 11th 2006**"_

_"Dark Thursday?"

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Lois knew that this entry would have to have some emotion in it, after all, it had been a country-wide epidemic. It was like the entire population of America had contracted some mental condition causing their instincts, that were supposed to have been eliminated after millions of years of evolution, to surface. They were like animals. The sudden loss of technology had pushed everyone over the edge. Lois remembered the screaming and yelling of the aftermath - the countless sob stories of which still plague the real life channels to this day.

She couldn't be sure whether this was fortunate or not, but she had missed the entire thing because she and Mrs Kent were rather occupied at the time with a pilot gone bad, who decided that flying a plane into the stratosphere would be a good idea. Lois didn't remember much of that day, but what she could put together was amazing. After losing consciousness she came to in a palace of ice. Chiseled columns of frozen water towered above her, creating spectrum after spectrum of light to dance around her vision. She vaguely recalled voices around her, saying her name as if they were talking about her rather than to her, before she was engulfed in a bright white light. Lois' only explanation was that she had died and gone to heaven, but, before her passing could become permanent, her mother had fought for her life. She had begged with some higher power to send her back into the plain of the living and naturally she was - well, it's not like anybody can say no to a female Lane. Next thing she knew she was waking up in the Smallville Medical Center. At least the experience had been a form of confirmation that she was going to end up in a good place - though Clark may not be happy at the thought of Lois not having to worry about needing to be any nicer, not that he ever went easy on her.

Shifting her weight, Lois felt one of her butt cheeks fall asleep. She twisted over so that she was lying on her stomach, leaning over the diary on her elbows, before she was once again lost into the delves of Clark's mind...

**"I'm so confused..."** Lois couldn't decide whether to roll her eyes or laugh - _'Isn't he always?' _**"I have so much to think about. I literally have the entire world's fate resting in my hands, one wrong move and Earth becomes nothing but a distant memory. I don't see why I have to carry this responsibility around with me, it's as if I was the one out of six billion people that drew the short straw. No matter what my parents say, I know that I can't do this. I'm not experienced or special in any other way apart from one little thing that frankly, doesn't give me any better judgement than anyone else. How can anyone expect me to choose what happens next? Especially when there are people like Chloe, my Mom, even Lois to some degree, that I know could make a way better decision than me. Chloe is the smartest person I know, while my Mom always seems to know how to do the right thing and Lois, well, even though she can be rash, her heart's in the right place and she is kind of wise in a way." **Lois scoffed. She knew that she should feel terrible for opening Clark's diary that he surely hadn't written for anyone to read, and she did. But there was no way he'd ever say anything like this to her face. It was scary seeing this side of a completely open Clark, and refreshing too.

**"But they'd definitely have solved this issue by now. Lex was abducted by Milton Fine this morning - in broad daylight, in front of Lana and in the middle of Maier's field, I might add - leaving only the symbol for Zod burned into the field as a clue. Well when Chloe told me, I could tell from then it wasn't going to be a good day. I could feel the spotlight inching towards me and, after all of these years of keeping it as far away as I could, I'm just glad that Lois isn't here (she's going to Washington with my Mom) or otherwise she'd never leave it alone. Damn the curiosity of that family! I swear there must be a gene for it somewhere, because Lois and Chloe? They must have double dominant genes in their genetic makeup, and that spells bad for me. If Lois ever found out about me... well I know that she'd yell- she always yells. But if she'd accept me? I have no idea. But even suspecting the truth would cause her ability to find trouble to quadruple in power and she'd never let me protect her being all anti-damsel-in-distress."**

Lois wanted to deny this, but it wasn't a secret that she was against the whole 'helpless women needing big strong men to save them' stereotype. And she did yell at Clark slightly more than the next person but that's just how it was with them, one sarcastic remark to the next. But the whole her getting into trouble thing? She wasn't that bad... She's only been nearly killed a couple of times... But the point is that she's still alive... and trapped under the debris of a bard that could cut off her air supply at any moment. Okay, she got his point.

**"Anyway, I had pretty much no other option than to got to the fortress. After all, Jor-El had to to with Dad's death, I hadn't been there in a while. He'd decided to take Lana away from me and then tried to take Lois after I had asked for a do-over. But I didn't get there in time to help Dad, I know that I will never forgive Jor-El for that. Whoever he had taken- Lana, Lois, Chloe Mom or Dad- I never would have forgiven him. How can someone just do that? Take someone's life and not even care."**

Lois stopped. Mr Kent's death hadn't been an accident? This 'Jor-El' person had killed him, after making attempts on Lana and herself too. When Lana was nearly hit by that bus? And when she was electrocuted? But the most amazing thing about the whole thing was that Jor-El was still alive and Clark knew that he had murdered his father. Lois was just lost in all of these code names: Jor-El, Milton Fine, Zod. But why were Chloe, Lex, Lana and everyone all the same? Surely it would make sense to put everyone into a code. This guy was getting weirder and weirder by the paragraph.

**"Which brings me onto the next problem. The guy who insists that, being my biological father, he knows how to make me the 'saviour' of the human race, wants me to kill Lex. Why? Because his body is the vessel of General Zod - the guy completely responsible for the destruction of my home and biological family. Which is, well, great... just great. Oh and he gave me a dagger to kill him with."**

"Wait! 'Biological father'? His biological father is who exactly? Uhh! Why the hell does this have to be so confusing?" Lois scanned ahead looking for the sentence that said 'my biological father is called...' but found none.

**"But even when I went to Chloe, we can't come up with any alternative and Lionel said something that had me thinking: 'The real test of a hero is knowing when the greater good will be served by an evil act.' Does that mean that even if I murder, it's okay if I save millions of lives? I don't think that it would make me any better than any of the guys I'm protecting people from. So maybe I'm not a hero, but I'm not a killer either. I'm not my father. Even if, like Lionel says, Lex can do anything I can do, that doesn't mean I should kill him. But I won't let him hurt anyone either.**

**"So being the stupid guy that I am, I went to the mansion looking for him. But he wasn't home, Lana was. She knew about Lex and hadn't run away horrified, she'd told him to stay away from me. She had overheard everything me and Chloe had said about killing Lex! She was already on his side and I hadn't even done anything. How could Lana choose to trust Lex over me? I know my honesty isn't my greatest quality, but I'm the better person to trust. Right?"**

Lois couldn't argue. Clark had always butted in on her life, determined to save her from any danger- usually the guy she's dating at that time- she may be in. If you were in trouble, Clark was always there to get you out of it.

The next line caught Lois by surprise, it was slightly obscured by dried water drops that had blurred out parts of the printed writing. Tears perhaps.

**"The words she uttered before she left will forever be seared into my mind. 'I don't know how I could have ever loved you.' "  
**

"Ouch... Okay that was harsh, even by the Lana-Clark love-hate relationship standards." It was almost heartbreaking.

**"She doesn't love me."**

Lois could see Clark's heard being torn to shreds by the thought. Lana had meant everything to him, but soon they would be happy again. Though, after their most recent separation. Lois had a feeling that their attempts of happiness together were over.

**"If only to make things worse, Fine turns up and makes a crack about Zod valuing her allegiance. Just because I don't kill doesn't mean I wouldn't punch him, hard. He then goes on for a few deluded moments before he turned to the computer and it was enlaced in symbols. I rushed over to Chloe and found Metropolis going insane. Fine had used this virus to shut down all of the technology and it was spreading. A car crashed into the Planet building and nearly hit Chloe, the screams of yet more accidents taking hold of the city. A simple virus taking out a whole city seemed nothing to the threat of what Zod could do. I had to do something, but Chloe wasn't safe, I didn't want her to get hurt while I was gone. But she made me see that she wasn't going to be safe ever again unless I sorted everything out. So I had to leave her, but not before she walked up to me and kissed me. It was so unexpected, I didn't even think she liked me in that way anymore. But what shocked me even more is that I responded and... I liked it. Do I like Chloe in that way? Could we be more than we are now? Or was it just a spur of the moment, crazy, goodbye forever kind of kiss, since it's likely that I won't survive much longer. I don't really know. But there's not time to wonder about the crazy hectic mess that is my love life (or friendships). I'm about to meet Lex in the barn, but I wanted to write all of this down so that I can have a clear head when I see him.**

**"I've got the knife Jor-El gave me, but I don't know if I can use it. I'll just have to see when I get to the Farm. I'll write soon, if I can.**

**-Clark"**

Lois was starting to think that Clark was insane. At least he didn't seem insane, but what he was writing was insane. It was Smallville, but killing Lex because he was being inhabited by a General from hell? She just couldn't get the idea that Clark Kent of all people was stuck into the middle of all of this and that he was more than the Kansas farm-boy he appeared to be. That thought in itself meant that she needed a one-way ticket into an insane asylum.

Flicking forward a few pages, she found out that Clark defeated this Zod after being trapped in the 'Phantom Zone'. But stopped short when she found an entry that caught her attention.

**"October 19th 2006."**

"The day Clark met Oliver..."


	4. Green Arrow and Secret Alleys

**A/N Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Note to Sarah, thanks for correcting me on my inaccuracy on the whole tornado thing and for the comment on my writing style. It takes a lot of guts to say what you really think and I respect anyone who'll give me an honest review. I'll try and explain myself in this chapter. ^_^  


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_Previously..._

_**"October 19th 2006."**_

_"The day Clark met Oliver..."_

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_**"I hate days like these. You know the type- you end up wanting to bang your head against a wall for hours upon end which, in my case, wouldn't be the greatest idea... Anyway, it all started at the Luthorcorp gala, where my Mom and Lionel were busy schmoozing (Lois got me word of the day toilet paper last week, I swear I don't even get her insults anymore) with a load of corporate suits. That's when a new leather-bound guy with a Robin Hood complex turns up and steals the diamond necklace my Mom had borrowed from the Luthor vault. Naturally, Lois was at the site of trouble and chased after the thief only to lose him at the elevator shaft."**

_'What does he mean by 'naturally'?? I'm not the only one surrounded in trouble! This is Smallville, where the chance of surving high school is about the same as winning a wrestling match with a grizzly bear.' _Lois, her inward rant finished, turned back to the diary as she became more and more interested in the thoughts of her friend. Thinking about it, she wasn't acting much like a friend by prying into his private life. But, she was the one idiot in Kansas who had run into the barn during a tornado, rather than the safety of the storm cellar, but the thought of Clark or Mrs Kent stuck here in the storm... _'Damn it Lois, you're smarter than this! They live on a farm, they know what to do in a storm!' _She adjusted herself so that she lay on her side, knees curled up into her chest. The truth was, she couldn't get through to either of them on their phones and she had just rushed here. But Clark would've gotten his mom out of the house at the first sign of a storm. Even after she had moved out, Clark hadn't lost that protectiveness he held over anyone he held dear.

All Lois had done is put herself in danger. And now somebody was going to have to spend time looking for her when they could be looking for some other person who was trapped by accident. Like some crippled old lady who couldn't get out fast enough. Who was she kidding? Even a crippled old lady would have the sense to run out of dangerous places during a tornado. Feeling worse and worse by the second, Lois decided to turn her attention back to her friends words.

**"I have to say that my evening only got worse. After I heard the news, I sped over to Oliver Queen's apartment, where I heard that Lois was being questioned. I wasn't really expecting anything when I got to the door. I hadn't given Oliver more than a second's thought. All I'd heard about the guy was that he was 'hot, rich, famous and way more man than _certain_ farm boys' so when I walked in and met him face to face, the shocked response I got when he found out that yes, I am Clark, was unsettling.**

**"I can't believe that Lois said that I was a geek! Well I can, but using that as a way of describing me to her boyfriend? That's getting harsh, even for Lois. I guess another annoying thing about Oliver was that he was about the same height as me. It's kind of pathetic, but I've always liked that I was taller than most people. It's useful when I'm looking through things and I can look intimidating enough to avoid violence if necessary. But this guy, if there was ever a need to, I'd have to use force against him. I hate that feeling.**

**"Well, I suppose Oliver did help. He told me that a lot of other items had been stolen, all from wealthy people and no reports had been made to the police. Not even Lionel had said anything. So I left the apartment and went to see Lionel..."**

"God, you'd think that Smallville would've gotten better and constructing sentences over the years, but even when he's talking to a book, his stories are just as long and boring." Lois skimmed through a detailed account of Clark's investigation. Yes, he'd done well to work out who had stolen everything and all, but she was getting a little bored of his listing of events.

"Wait. What?" She stared, stunned at the little snippet of information that Clark had actually managed to get his hands on before her.

**"When I saw Lois up there with the Green Arrow, I thought I'd help out. She was hounding him, on the brink of unmasking him. All I could do to help was to make a little distraction so that Oliver could get away."**

He knew. Clark had known that Oliver was the Green Arrow! All that time, basically a year before she had found out. Her! Lois! The girl who had been in love with him! Oh, and apparently, Oliver had _known_ that Clark had known. They had even come to some kind of truce. What was that about? Lois' only consolidation was that Clark had apparently attempted to persuade Oliver into telling her of his secret identity.

She flicked through the pages, trying to find something good in Clark's life. She read through certain paragraphs, noting how his diary entries became more and more frequent as she got deeper within its pages. Finding a rather emotional section for Clark, she read...

**"I finally found out what they've been hiding from me. Chloe had been avoiding it for weeks and, knowing that there was only one thing she wouldn't talk about, it was obvious that it was about Lana.**

**"She's pregnant.**

**"I just can't believe it. I mean, how could she? How could she be pregnant? I know that I hurt her, but I figured that her and Lex were just a phase, her rebound off of me. She had to come to her senses eventually right? She couldn't honestly have chosen him over me, not after everything he's done, not after the guy he's become.**

**"She can't think that I'm the bad guy. Could she? She wouldn't think that Lex is a better guy than me. She couldn't think that I'm the bad guy.**

**"But what if she does? What if she doesn't understand that I can't be with her. I just can't. She won't be able to relate to me, nobody can. Nobody is like me. Or is that just an excuse I made to push her away?**

**"So is it really that out there to think that she would prefer a guy that can give her whatever she wants? That must love her, especially now she's going to have his baby? Of course not. Lana's not an idiot. She chose Lex because Lex can give her what I can't. All of him. I can't give her all of me, even if she did know the truth. There's always going to be a part of me that she won't ever understand, that she won't ever relate to, that nobody will.**

**"... And that's the reason that I'm going to end up alone. Whoever I end up having chemistry with, or love or want to love. And I have to come to terms with that."**

Lois looked at the page, and felt her heart flop. The poor guy, put through all that for a girl that he still doesn't have. Even though she moved on and he moved on, there's still going to be those scars in him. Those scars that Lana put there. The ones that will never fade away.

Blinking a couple of times, she looked at the facing page. Another short entry dated the next day to the last. She saw her name and read.

**"I can't believe it. I actually can't register the past few hours. Lois had been getting too close to Oliver's secret and stupidly, I helped.**

**"If only I hadn't, if only I hadn't been stupid enough to meddle! So what if Lois found out about Oliver, isn't that what I told him - to tell her before she found out? But I never would have helped him had she not given me the speech. She loves him! And if she found out that he's been lying to her all this time... I can totally relate to that. It's the exact situation that I nearly got myself into and I can't do that to Lois, I just can't.**

**"So this plan, it goes well. Too well. Lois ends up getting into trouble with some thugs, so what am I supposed to do? I'm in a Green Arrow costume for God's sake!"**

Lois stared. She knew where this was going. This was the Green Arrow she kissed in the alley. This was the Green Arrow that had run faster than a thousandth of a second speed camera and thrown guys twice her weight clear across the alley. This was the Green Arrow look-a-like. This was Clark Kent!


	5. Infection

**A/N Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I'm trying to update as often as I can now. Enjoy! ^_^  


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_Previously..._

**_"If only I hadn't, if only I hadn't been stupid enough to meddle! So what if Lois found out about Oliver, isn't that what I told him - to tell her before she found out? But I never would have helped him had she not given me the speech. She loves him! And if she found out that he's been lying to her all this time... I can totally relate to that. It's the exact situation that I nearly got myself into and I can't do that to Lois, I just can't._**

**_"So this plan, it goes well. Too well. Lois ends up getting into trouble with some thugs, so what am I supposed to do? I'm in a Green Arrow costume for God's sake!"_**

_Lois stared. She knew where this was going. This was the Green Arrow she kissed in the alley. This was the Green Arrow that had run faster than a thousandth of a second speed camera and thrown guys twice her weight clear across the alley. This was the Green Arrow look-a-like. This was Clark Kent!

* * *

_

Lois read and re-read those words over and over again. She daren't continue on.

_'Clark? Meteor-infected?'_

A thought struck her mind.

_'Clark... The Red-Blue Blur?'_

Suddenly, as if she had found the most important piece of a puzzle, it seemed as if everything made sense, as if the picture it had taken her years to build was finally complete. All of those times he'd disappeared suddenly, then returned with a lame excuse. All of those times he'd gone off on his own when they were on a story and the blur had magically saved the day, or the problem had seemingly resolved itself. All of those times he'd lied right to her face...

This was why...

This was why she could never get close to him, this was why she always felt as if she was out of the loop, this was why he couldn't open up to her. He was keeping his secret.

"He must have been so alone..." she muttered, now sitting as up-right as the small space would allow.

_'But he wasn't alone...' _Lois thought to herself. _'Ollie knew, so did Chloe - I've read that much in his book. His parents must have known too...'_

So he wasn't alone. He'd had his friends and his family. He just hadn't had her.

Not that she deserved to know, after all, Chloe hadn't known all along. She had heard her cousin's insecurities about Clark hiding something from her, all the way up until she'd joined the gang for her repeat of senior year.

_'He must have told her sometime around then.' _Lois understood that, they had known each other for years, way longer than she had known Clark now. And Oliver was a fellow hero, he had only found out because of the whole secret identities thing.

Lying down again, Lois reasoned with herself that she was being ridiculous. Clark hadn't told her about his secret identity yet, so what? He would have done eventually. He was probably just waiting for the right time or protecting her or something. It didn't matter.

Only it did matter, to her...

She honestly didn't care whether he was meteor-infected, or that he prowled the streets protecting people. That, she could deal with. But the fact that he sat across from her, everyday, lying to her face... That just made her mad.

Lois gritted her teeth, and hated the fact that she had been stupid enough to rush into a barn during a tornado. All for a guy who could have been hit by a tractor and not even noticed.

* * *

A blur of a blonde bob whizzed through the crowd, bewildering some of the people flung out of its way as they looked - too slow - at the spot that it had once occupied. Chloe Sullivan, Watchtower and self-appointed eyes and ears of Metropolis, was in a hurry and was heading towards the landmark among the ocean of people - all six foot three inches of one Clark Kent.

"She's- Not- Here-" Chloe managed to pant in between gasps for oxygen.

Clark looked down in surprise, not having realized that Chloe standing in front of him- or the path of destruction behind her. "What?"

A look of exasperation took over her features before she took a breath and started again. "Lois, she's not here."

"What? What do you mean she's not here?" Clark looked around the bull pen, it was his day off. He had taken time off since his Mom had come to visit, Lois was working. She had to be here.

"Joe, the coffee guy, he said that when Lois heard about the storm going through Smallville, she took off. Apparently she left her source right at her desk and drove off to Smallville to help you and your Mom. She hasn't come back yet. Clark, what if she was caught out in the storm?"

Chloe looked at Clark, who was still and thinking. "Don't worry Chloe, Lois isn't stupid. She wouldn't have stayed out in the open, we just need to speed down to Smallville. We'll find her." Clark said this more for his own benefit than Chloe's.

The blonde nodded in response and they both exited the Daily Planet building, before finding an empty alleyway to speed off from.

* * *

Nothingness.

A numb sense of nothing surrounded her now, completely extinguishing any concept of time. The diary lay abandoned at her side while the photograph she had been subconsciously clutching shook as she did. The world seemed to be spinning as Lois shivered, not because of cold but instead the feeling of being caged. It was like she was being buried alive beneath a tonne of symbollic Clark.

Was it not bad enough that she was going to die, without doing so in the most ironic way possible?

She was going to die. Surely somebody would have found her by now, Chloe would be looking for her right? The reporter instinct in her cousin would mean that she was found almost immediately though... So why haven't they found her yet?

The Planet.

Lois was supposed to be working today. With the storm, the newspaper would be chaos, nobody would have even noticed that she was gone.

She was stuck here.

She was going to die alone, scared and with a secret that she hadn't been trusted enough to keep in the first place.

Turning on her side and curling into a foetal position, Lois hated that she was being resorted to this. She was Lois Lane for goodness' sake! And that meant that she was strong and wouldn't let any farm-boy reduce her to a snivelling mess (no matter how blue his eyes were). Feeling better, or at least more angry than doomed, Lois sat up and hated him. Hated the guy who she had once considered her best friend.

Unfortunately, as is the way with Lois, a few minutes of seething anger later and she was bored. Foot tapping and lip being nibbled, Lois looked around with the aid of her flash light. The diary stared at her, called her, tempted her reporter's instinct and dared her to have another read. She barely hesitated before it was open and in her lap once more. Deciding to miss out on Clark's surely terrible opinion of their kiss in the alley, Lois flicked through passages of guilt trips and Lana-loving until she found something that caught her eye.

**"February 1st 2007**

**"I hate to start this diary the same way every time I write but what can I say other than that I've had just another day in Smallville? I guess it all started when Jimmy tried to set me and Lois up on a blind date - crazy I know."**

Lois' heart gave an involuntary ache at the mention of Jimmy's name, she still couldn't believe that he was gone. Her cousin had been crushed since his death, she was still withdrawn and barely answered her calls any more. Jimmy's death had changed her cousin, she barely left wherever it was that she lived now - Lois didn't even know.

As Clark's words continued, memories flooded back into Lois' mind- she remembered this, some of it anyway. **"The next morning Lois turns up looking... well... amazing. The weirdest thing though, she was all over me (is it really any shock that I super-sped out of there the first moment I got?) I had no clue what had gotten into her, she hates me! Well, maybe not as harsh as hate, but we couldn't go a day without annoying each other to the brink of a fist fight. And then she's giving me mixed CD's? I knew something had to be wrong, so naturally I went to Chloe.**

**"Besides Chloe being the smartest person I know, she also knows a lot about Lois (and the probability that Lois is on drugs- apparently zero). She didn't even believe me when I told her! Understandable I suppose, but why would I make something like this up? Next thing I know, Lois is coming towards me and shows me a tattoo. It was right on her body, plain enought to see the words 'Lois & Clark Forever' evermore seared on her skin. I panicked, resisting the urge to speed off to Venezuela. She'd tattooed her chest because of me, nobody does that - not even someone as questionable as Lois! All Chloe could do was stare at her as Lois' gaze raked my body, making me feel naked before her gaze. And then my so called friend ups and leaves me to the wrath of a love-struck Lois!"**

Lois cringed, she'd really done all that? And he hadn't even told her... But, as she thought about it, she'd rather not have had that conversation.

**"My breath hitched as Lois has her hands on me, on my chest, in my hair. I couldn't form a sentence, my brain just wasn't focusing properly. I hadn't had someone just throw themselves at me since Chloe was on that obsessive potion thing. It's weird though, because it wasn't the same. Chloe's my friend and there's nothing romantic at all between us, but with Lois it was always banter. Not really a friendship but nothing like a romance either. But when I pulled her into a more secluded area of the bullpen, I couldn't stop her when she dragged me into the nearest phone booth.**

**"Then I found out that Lois definitely wasn't on drugs. As her lips crashed into mine the euphoric rush of red kryptonite flashed through my system and my inhibitions were sent to distant parts of the cosmos. My tongue instantly found hers and we quickly found our way to an empty office. My alter-ego was completely in control as the contamination searged through my body and I remember as I arrogantly boasted of my superiority to Oliver. I felt that I had to impress her, I needed the satisfaction of being thought of as amazing. So I jumped from the Daily Planet roof and onto Oliver's balcony, enjoying every moment of her shocked expression.**

**"I seriously think that we would've gone all the way right there if I hadn't seen the engagement party invitation. It was a long story, but I ended up telling everyone about Lana's pregnancy and kidnapping her, after I dumped Lois. Luckily, Mom managed to stop me from doing anything stupid by using regular kryptonite. All this only showed me that I can't let Lana marry Lex. I can't let her make the biggest mistake of her life. I told Mom, and she says that I need to let go of my feelings for Lana, but before she could talk Lois turned up. On the up side, she seemed genuinely embarrassed when I showed her the mixed CD. A rarity for her. But it was hard having to avoid the subject and dodge around questions. She was really worried about what we'd done. It was refreshing, seeing her so exposed, so unguarded."**

Not believing that he had thought all of this, a stunned Lois couldn't understand that Clark had actually felt this way. Or at least, a drugged up Clark did. It was kind of embarrassing that it was the red-blue blur who she constantly teased. He had to deal with things on a daily basis that a normal guy never would have to. Clark could conquer the world, but instead he chooses to sacrifice what he really wants for the greater good. Already, Lois had read a number of times where Clark had gone out of his way to save her. But the craziest thing was that this guy, who saved people on a daily basis, had seen right through her. Even then, when he'd only known her two years, he'd worked out that she kept people at a distance.

It was getting so difficult to be mad at the guy.

A sharp pain on the edge of her back annoyingly interrupted Lois' trail of thought so, after putting the diary in her purse, she turned and grasped the offending object. Pulling at it, it came free and she smiled triumphantly at what felt like a rusty nail.

The makeshift shelter groaned and, before Lois could react, the debris was collapsing in on her.


	6. Red and Blue

**A/N Okay, I'm gunna post another chapter to make up for my slowness... :-S Happy New Year Everybody!  


* * *

**

His breath hitched as he caught sight of the remains of his home. The carnage of his childhood home lay out as an unrecognisable jumble, littering the yard in a mass of wood and splinters. But the loss of material possessions were far from the mind of Clark Kent. Having found her car and followed her tracks here, he was looking for the woman he hoped was safely sitting in her apartment with a cup of coffee and laughing him because of the ease of hiding from him during the twelve times Clark had searched her home.

But she wasn't there, the storm had caught her here. And the thought that she was hurt or worse fueled his determination evermore. Speeding around the farm, Clark x-rayed every inch of ground and even sped into the storm cellar just to check. Looking towards the remains of the barn a whispered word showed both his fear and relief. "Lois." Clark felt his heart jump into his throat as he saw Lois being crushed under thick wooden beams. He was instantly next to the heap of splintered wood, carefully removing beams and boards until Lois was completely uncovered. Luckily nothing too heavy had been on her abdomen, which would have prevented him from taking beams off of her body. Gently unhooking her purse from her body and putting it over his own shoulder, Clark took Lois in his arms becoming all the more wary of her breaths that were becoming steadily shallower. Super-speeding at a smooth but hasty pace, Clark headed towards the Smallville Medical Centre - the closest hospital to the farm.

She'd only just come back to him. The legion ring had brutally snatched her away and now fate was having another shot. Clark couldn't let her die, he refused to even consider the concept. This was Lois Lane for crying out loud! She'd survived a meteor shower, the phantom zone and being possessed more times than he could remember! How could she survive all that and become defeated by a weather anomaly? It would be ridiculous.

"I need a doctor!" Clark yelled into the mass of the corridor as he placed Lois on a gurney. A dark-haired man in a white coat hurried over towards them, looking Lois over.

"Okay, I'm going to need to check her over more thoroughly so I'm going to take her into an examination room."

The man grabbed two people nearby and they began to push Lois through the people. Clark stayed near her head and watched as the doctor issued instructions to passing people. What was going on? He had no idea, and his bewilderment only grew as Lois was pushed into an empty room. Just as Clark was about to follow, the dark haired doctor blocked his way.

"I'm sorry son, but I'm going to have to ask you to wait outside."

"Bu-"

"Young man, I'm sorry but there's simply not enough space for you inside. You can wait outside and I'll keep you informed."

The door shut and the window blinds shut, Clark felt more helpless by the second. He didn't know what was going on in that little room. He didn't know how hurt Lois was or whether she was going to survive. Occaisionally, a person rushed in or out of the room, but nobody would tell him anything. They just brushed off his questions with a shake of the head, if they even acknowledged him at all. Pacing around, resisting the urge to peak inside, but Clark couldn't bring himself to look. She remembered her lying there, pale and with bits of wood sticking out of her. That wasn't his Lois, the one who spent her time teasing him and always kept him on his toes. She was his partner at the planet and great friend. And the thing he wanted most was to be following after her on a story.

He missed her already.

"Clark?" Turning, Clark spotted Chloe heading towards him with Oliver close behind sporting a new-looking cast on his wrist.. He'd forgotten that he'd dropped her off here in case Lois had already been brought in. "Lois, is she-?"

"Lois is in there..." Clark gestured to the room behind him. "... but the doctors won't let me in. I don't know what's going on, they won't tell me if she's okay or if she's-"

"Clark, listen to me. It's okay, we've found her and she's in a hospital. We can't do anything more. Why don't you go with Oliver and I'll find out what's going on?" Chloe said, conviction flaring in her gaze.

"Yeah, and I've got a spare shirt in the car so you can change." Oliver added.

"What?" Clark asked. "Why do I need a shirt?"

"Clark," Chloe looked at him in concern, "you're covered in blood."

Looking down, Clark saw that his pale blue shirt had been stained crimson. The dark pool centered around his middle and he could see the people in the corridor eyeing him in alarm.

"Come on man, let's get out of the way. Lois will be fine while you just change quickly. Then we can get right back."

Clark took a step next to Oliver and they turned in the direction of the exit.

"Code blue! Room 215! Code blue!"

Alarms sounded and medical staff raced towards Lois' room, as she went into cardiac arrest.


	7. Helpless

**A/N Come on, I couldn't just leave you there!! I hope that 2010's going okay for everybody. Here's the next part :-) Please review if you have time, and special thanks to Sarah for her honest reviews!  


* * *

**

_Previously..._

_"Come on man, let's get out of the way. Lois will be fine while you just change quickly. Then we can get right back."_

_Clark took a step next to Oliver and they turned in the direction of the exit._

_"Code blue! Room 215! Code blue!"_

_Alarms sounded and medical staff raced towards Lois' room, as she went into cardiac arrest.

* * *

_

Time ceased to exist, the world itself stopped spinning as Lois Lane's heart stopped beating. It was almost as if the entire universe was paying respect to her: A final goodbye to the woman who had kicked more butts than anyone else Clark knew. She was feisty, irritating and would never let anything go, but neither Clark, Chloe or Oliver could live without her. Once you'd met Lois Lane, you didn't forget her - not ever. She always made an impression, how couldn't she?

The events almost seemed as if they were going in slow motion, doctors running frantically talking about defibrillators and compressions. Tears streamed down Chloe's face as Oliver held her in his arms, a look of disbelief on his face.

She couldn't be dying, she just couldn't be.

But there she was, helpless. Lying on a bed surrounded by strangers as they tried to revive her, all the while, her loved ones quivered outside. It was backwards.

Clark stared at her face, pale and unfamiliar as it was, and couldn't stand it. He was supposed to save her. If there was anyone worth saving, it was her. She was the girl who stole his coffee, scribbled on his articles and constantly teased him with a smug smile on her face. She was the girl who had barged her way into his life and infused it with sarcasm and general volume. She was the thorn in his side that had burrowed deeper and deeper into him until it was beyond removal.

But somewhere upon the way, that thorn unknowingly stumbled into his heart. And now it felt as if some higher power was wrenching it from him, taking her away forever. And there was no way that Clark was gunna let that happen.

But what could he do?

* * *

Six times.

Six times Lois had died, only to be revived again by the exhausted doctors who had worked on her for over an hour and a half.

Chloe was in pieces, Oliver's face hadn't seemed to change over the entire time span and every muscle in Clark's body remained tense, as if waiting for her to stop breathing once again.

"Miss Sullivan?" a tentative doctor tried to talk to Chloe, but any attempt she made to reply was stifled by a whimper.

Clark and Oliver stepped protectively on either side of her, and addressed the wary man. "She's been here a long time. We just need to know how Lois is doing."

The doctor nodded graciously and replied, "Miss Lane has some broken ribs and a collapsed lung, but we have her on a ventilator to keep her breathing strong. The wood from the building has wounded her abdomen, she's lost a lot of blood." His gaze flicked to Clark's shirt, before continuing, "But she's stable now. The thing is, we've been forced to induce a coma so that she has the energy she needs to heal."

Oliver quickly asked, "What are her chances of survival?"

Looking uncomfortable, the doctor spoke more softly than his previous professional tone. "I'm not going to lie to you. It didn't look good. But now, I'd say it's fifty-fifty. It all comes down to how long she was in there and how strong she is. But she's put up quite a fight already."

"Can we sit with her?" Clark took Chloe's hand and squeezed it. She gripped his hand tightly, and leeched Oliver and Clark for comfort. She didn't need this today, not after what had happened to Jimmy.

"I don't see how that could be a problem, though if a nurse comes in you must stay out of their way." They all nodded, feeling like children being told what not to do. "And if you are asked to leave, say that Doctor Richardson has said that you can sit here." Dr Richardson finished with a warm smile before receiving a page and dashing off to some other disaster. These were the heroes that didn't need a disguise.

They all headed into the small room, shutting the door behind them. Luckily there was a large sofa-like chair big enough for the three of them to sit upon comfortably. Oliver went out to get some coffee, and returned to find Clark sat with Chloe leaning on him, her legs outstretched, both of them were asleep.

A small smile touching his lips, Oliver went over to the chair beside Lois' bed, slightly shocked that it was almost midnight. He sat down and watched Lois for a minute, trying to look past the tube of the ventilator going into her mouth and the drip cord leaking a coctail that surely contained morphine into her system. It felt strange, the thought of losing Lois for good this time. She was strong, he knew, but the possibility that she might not make it was just too much. Looking quickly at Chloe and Clark to check that they were asleep, Oliver organised his thoughts before he began.

"Hey Lois. Look, I know you probably can't hear me right now. But I figured that if there's a chance that you can hear me, I might as well take advantage of the fact that you can't talk. Sorry, now's not a great time to attempt humour, but I've been awake for over 24 hours and I've not drank my coffee yet.

"I know we've been through a lot, with my jetting off everywhere running a business and with my extra curricular activities being quite committing. But... It got me thinking, that maybe it took not having you in my life to realize that I want more. That I should get something for me. And, I know what you're thinking: That it didn't work the last time. But now, I've got so many more people helping me and with the Blur and all the rest of the guys I have more time on my hands. And I want to spend that time with you.

"I want to be with you Lois. But you have to get better first, okay?"

Oliver leant back into his chair and let go of Lois' hand that he had taken in his own subconsciously as he was talking to her. Taking one last look at her, Oliver closed his eyes - Clark could always heat up the coffee later - and went to sleep. He was oblivious that Clark had been watching him the whole time and was now resisting the urge to set him on fire.

Not that he was jealous, or anything.


	8. The Echo in the Dark

**A/N Hi guys, sorry about not updating sooner. xx  


* * *

**

_Previously..._

_"Hey Lois. Look, I know you probably can't hear me right now. But I figured that if there's a chance that you can hear me, I might as well take advantage of the fact that you can't talk. Sorry, now's not a great time to attempt humour, but I've been awake for over 24 hours and I've not drank my coffee yet._

_"I know we've been through a lot, with my jetting off everywhere running a business and with my extra curricular activities being quite committing. But... It got me thinking, that maybe it took not having you in my life to realize that I want more. That I should get something for me. And, I know what you're thinking: That it didn't work the last time. But now, I've got so many more people helping me and with the Blur and all the rest of the guys I have more time on my hands. And I want to spend that time with you._

_"I want to be with you Lois. But you have to get better first, okay?"_

_Oliver leaned back into his chair and let go of Lois' hand that he had taken in his own subconsciously as he was talking to her. Taking one last look at her, Oliver closed his eyes - Clark could always heat up the coffee later - and went to sleep. He was oblivious that Clark had been watching him the whole time and was now resisting the urge to set him on fire._

_Not that he was jealous, or anything.

* * *

_The world was black. No light seemed to penetrate the thick walls of her mind leaving only a void of darkness. She could tell that she was hurt, the dull pain in her abdomen told her so. Everything else though, was nothing. Occasionally she did catch snippets of the world around her, of Chloe or Oliver. But they were just voices in the distance. Nothing more than echoes that she could not respond to or even comprehend.

Lois couldn't remember what had happened since the barn. One second she was reading Clark's diary, the next... she was here. In this abyss between life and death. The world had seemingly gone on without her. As if she was frozen in place, a sentinel among those left to continue on without her. A few times death's icy embrace had almost taken her away from those she loved, tempting her with promises of once again seeing her mother and being held in her arms after so many years.

It was those times when she had almost given in. Almost surrendered to death. But she couldn't bring herself to leave, not yet. She needed to know that everyone was okay without her - she couldn't leave them knowing that she would cause them untold pain. Ollie, she had heard him. He had said that he needed her, that he wanted her; she couldn't just leave him with those feelings unresolved. Chloe, Lois had heard her despair as her little cousin had sobbed uncontrollably as Lois had felt herself slipping away. And Clark, he was still unaware that Lois knew everything about him, that she accepted him. The passages he had written about wanting so much to tell Lois about his secret but not knowing if she would accept him made her heart ache. She had to fight this, she needed to tell him that she didn't think any less of him.

She thought more of him. But that wasn't all she thought of him, and he needed to know that.

_"Lois?"_ A hoarse whisper echoed into her mind. _"I wish you could hear me Lois."_ It was Clark. Lois tried to respond to let Clark know that she was getting better, that she would wake up so that Chloe, him and Oliver would be okay, but the pain still paralysed her. _"It's weird, not having you talk back - this is a rare opportunity you know, a time where you won't interrupt me for once." _Clark laughed though it sounded half-hearted, faked._ "Chloe wanted me to tell you that she needs you here and you need to keep fighting, but I know you will because that's what you do. You're a fighter Lois and you'll come out of this, I know you will." _Clark paused, Lois thought to try and keep his nerve. He sounded more like he was convincing himself than anything else. Lois felt his hand on her cheek, and heard him take short hitched breaths. Clark was crying?

"But if you don't come out _of this, you've gotta know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that_ I couldn't_ save you. I'm sorry that you got hurt. I'm sorry that I kept things from you, things I should've told you years ago... I bet you didn't know that it was me who got you those flowers on Valentine's day." _Lois suddenly recalled the day those flowers had appeared on her desk, how she had told Clark with excitement that she had a secret admirer. He had just smiled throughout her whole story of how she was going to find out who had sent them, she had never managed to track her admirer down. Until now.

_"Lois, I could list a million reasons why I want you to stay but I can't convince you to fight, you have to do that on your own. But I can tell you something that I've been wanting to tell you since we first met."_ Lois readied herself for the news she had already found out for herself, the secret he had been hiding for years without her knowledge. _"You are the most aggravating person I know." _Okay, so not the news she'd been expecting._ "You're bossy, blunt, have this annoying habit of finishing my sentences and never let me take the steering wheel in a situation."_ Lois felt stunned, this was what he chose to say while she was on her deathbed? _"When we lived together, I used to dream of pouring iced water on you while you slept and smashing your Whitesnake collection into teeny tiny pieces, just so that I never had to listen to 'Love Aint a Stranger' ever again! You always punch my arm, for no apparent reason, and always assume that I'm useless. You tease me to no end, you love to embarrass me, you take over any space at your disposal. You leave your underwear all over the house, even now, when you don't even live there! You steal my food, my coffee, my headlines! You don't let anything go, and let's face it - you totally love those sappy love movies, even though you deny it." _Lois felt more than a little peeved, she had almost died for goodness' sake! And while Oliver and Chloe cried, Clark was listing flaws at her! The nerve of him!

_"But do you know what I love about you more than any of those other things? I love the fact that you care more than any other person I know, that when you throw your heart into something you put everything on the line. I love that you fret over the smallest things yet don't hesitate to act, even when there's a gun pointed at your head. I love that you talk too much and you get flustered when you're embarrassed. I love that you depend on coffee like it's oxygen and that you depend on yourself when you're uncovering the truth._

_"I love that you never ask anything of me, even when you know I'm not telling you everything. You don't push into my life like other people have, you don't know how rare and amazing a quality that is. I love that your smile lights up the whole room and that you can make me feel better just by looking at me. You brighten up my day everyday. I love that you know me better than anyone and that you seem to understand without me having to explain anything to you. You seem to get me when I don't even understand myself. I love that you are loyal to people, and are there for them whether they ask you to or not and that you protect people who can't protect themselves. You always put others before yourself._

_"Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I love you Lois."_

_

* * *

_Lois gasped a deep breath as she sat up in the small hospital bed.

"Lois? Lois! You're okay?!" Clark's face lit up at seeing Lois upright and conscious.

Chloe and Oliver, who had been asleep on the chairs in the corner of the room, blinked sleepily before noticing the brunette breathing heavily in bed.

"Lois? Is everything oka-" Clark stopped mid-sentence as Lois slapped him hard across the face.

The room sat in stunned silence, until Lois began to yell at Clark. "Okay first I am not bossy, a little assertive maybe but no way bossy! Second, 'Love Aint a Stranger' is an amazing song! And Whitesnake is way better than that noise you call music that you listen to! Third, I don't let you drive because when I get in a car I actually want to get somewhere in this decade! You drive like an old lady who's had one tiquilla too many. Fourth, I am an action girl, I would take 'Die Hard' over 'The Notebook' anyday! Fifth, ice water? Really? Clark Kent, when I get my hands on you so help me I'll-"

"Okay, I see that somebody's up!" A doctor walked into the room, stopping Lois' rant before her three friends had managed to comprehend the situation. "How about we check your vitals? See if everything's normal."

As Lois was checked over, Clark shifted beneath her glare. She'd heard everything he'd said only to yell at him when she'd woken up. She hadn't even mentioned the part about him loving her, it hadn't all gone to plan. She wasn't really supposed to hear him. Clark cringed at the thought of Lois hearing what he'd had to say. He gulped, she was going to kill him, in a very slow and painful way.

When the doctor had left, Chloe had suggested that she would go get some coffees and dragged a reluctant Oliver with her. Clark could only watch wide-eyed as she left, he was a dead man walking.

"So..." Clark couldn't take the silence, yet he couldn't look at Lois in case her icy gaze still lingered on him. "... I take it that you heard everything I said."

"Well apparently you decided to take advantage of that _'rare oppertunity'_ where I couldn't interrupt you." Lois didn't sound happy, and it was enough to make Clark want to super-speed back to the farm and hide. But since he was already in trouble, he might as well risk enraging her further so that he could ask her the question that had been nagging at the back of his mind.

"Umm... Yeah, about that. Did you hear everything I said?"

"Unfortunately for you."

"Everything?"

"For God's sake Clark, yes I did! Why the hell do you think I'm so freaking mad at you?"

"So you heard me tell you that I loved you?"

Silence.

"Lois?"

Her face went red. "Well I- I- Errr..."

Clark looked at her, flustered and avoiding his gaze. She had heard him and, instead of focusing on the part that scared her, she had feigned anger at him in the hope that the subject would be avoided. She seemed to be frantically trying to find something, anything to say that would restore her power in the conversation. But her mind kept coming up blank. Clark could see the panic in her face, her desperate need to have something to hide behind but the sarcasm that was usually there had failed her.

This was his chance, maybe his only chance to seize hold of the situation and take charge. It was a rare moment where he was in control.

Clark cupped her face in his hands and moved so close that Lois' nose brushed his own. Her eyes tentavely met his as he slowly tilted his head and bent so that his lips brushed hers. She froze momentarily in shock and Clark kissed her again more boldly. Mere milimetres apart, Lois stared at Clark's lips then his eyes. She couldn't decide what to do, her head and her heart were screaming so loud she couldn't fathom what she wanted. Clark was so close she felt his chest against hers with every breath he took.

Once again she looked up into his eyes.

She knew what she wanted to do, and so she kissed him.


End file.
